Frequently Asked Questions

Going to see a sex therapist is as normal as going to any other healthcare professional. If you break your leg, you go to the leg specialist; if your sex life feels broken, you go to a sex specialist.
But what exactly is sex therapy? If you haven’t been, it's highly likely your picture of it is informed by tv, movies or what you’ve seen online. So, I'm here to tell you what it’s really like.

Sex therapy is for anyone who needs help overcoming or understanding something that’s going on in their sex life. Sex therapy helps you gain an understanding of your sexual wants, needs, and desires. All the while helping you to get comfortable communicating with sexual partners.
Quite often, your regular doctor or therapists who haven’t specialised in sex therapy may not be equipped to advise or help you as well as a sex therapist can when it comes to a sexual issue, and they may refer you to one. You can also self refer for private therapy without the need for a referral from someone else. If you have troubles with your sex life, have things to get off your chest and work out then sex therapy may just be for you.
Read on to learn all about the compassionate and research-based guidance a sex therapist can give you, as well as the range of psychological, physiological, and cultural factors that interact to affect your sex life.

A ‘Vague’ Roadmap.

(vague because everyone is different and some of the ‘map’ may or may not be applicable to everyone, and that is absolutely fine! No two people are the same and as such, you will be treated as an individual. It is the only way my therapy can be effective!)

In Relationship & Psychosexual therapy, my goal is to help you feel more comfortable, confident, and connected when it comes to your sexual well-being. Whether you’re facing anxiety, low desire, relationship issues, or the effects of past trauma, I’m here to guide you through the process in a safe, supportive way.

1. The First Session (Getting to Know You during the Initial Assessment)

  • Building Trust: First and foremost, I am hyper aware how difficult it is for people to talk about sex, intimacy and emotions and everything else the comes with relationships.
    In some cases, they may be talking about things that they have never spoken to anyone about before.
  • Right from the start: I make sure we create a safe and judgment-free space.
    I understand that talking about these topics can be uncomfortable, so my job is to help you feel heard and understood.
  • Understanding Your Concerns: I’ll ask you questions about what’s been going on in your life, what’s troubling you, and what changes you’re hoping for.
    I want to really understand your story, your goals, and what’s been affecting you in your relationship with others (and yourself) and all that is in between.
  • Setting Goals: Together, we’ll define what you want to work on. Whether it is Relationship focused, Psychosexual themes or a combination of both.
    We’ll set clear goals that feel achievable for you.

2. Exploring the Deeper Stuff (Unpacking What’s Going On)

  • Digging Into Emotional Factors: Often, things like past trauma, stress, or negative thoughts can impact your sexual experience. I’ll help you explore emotional or psychological blocks that might be at play, so we can work through them together.
  • Understanding Your Thoughts: If you’re struggling with things like performance anxiety, body image issues, or negative beliefs about yourself, I’ll introduce techniques to challenge and shift those thoughts. The goal is to help you feel more positive and confident in yourself.
  • Sexual Education: Sometimes, anxiety or confusion comes from not understanding our bodies or sexual health. I’ll provide clear, factual information about anatomy, sexual responses, or other topics to clear up any misunderstandings and help reduce unnecessary stress.

3. Working on Your Relationships (If You’re in a Couple or perhaps you would like to be in one)

  • Better Communication: I’ll help you and your partner improve communication around your sexual needs and desires. It’s all about creating a space where you both can speak openly and understand each other better without the opportunity for it to spiral into a negative.
  • Building Intimacy: I might suggest specific exercises for you and your partner to try, like simple touch or affection-building activities. These exercises can help you reconnect emotionally and physically, without the pressure of sexual performance.

4. Addressing Specific Concerns (If You Have Specific Issues)

  • Tackling Sexual Problems: If you’re dealing with specific sexual concerns—like erectile dysfunction, painful sex, or low desire—I’ll work with you on practical techniques and strategies. We might explore relaxation exercises, mindful practices, or other tools to help you feel more in control.
  • Working Through Trauma: If past trauma is affecting your sex life, we’ll focus on healing that experience. I’ll provide a safe, empathetic space for you to process any painful memories and move forward in a way that feels right for you.
  • Managing Anxiety: If anxiety is getting in the way of enjoying sex, I’ll introduce mindfulness and relaxation techniques to help you stay calm and present in the moment, reducing stress and allowing you to focus on pleasure instead of fear.

5. Exercises and Homework (What You Do Between Sessions)

  • Action Steps: Therapy isn’t just about talking during our sessions. It is a journey. I’ll often suggest exercises for you to try between sessions, whether that’s journaling, practicing communication with your partner, or trying new ways of connecting physically. These exercises help reinforce what we’re working on.
  • Tracking Progress: You might keep track of how you’re feeling or how things are shifting, which helps both of us see your progress over time. It’s a great way to reflect on what’s working and what still needs attention. Using specific assessment tools at intervals is a great way to do this.

6. Ongoing Support (Checking In)

  • I use WhatsApp between sessions to check in, keep in touch and touch base. However you want to word it! I am more than happy to be at the other end of the phone should you need it. I offer this to all my clients moving forward and does not cost anything extra. Ever.
  • Regular Check-ins: As we go along, I’ll check in to see how things are going and whether the strategies or techniques are helping. If something isn’t working or if new challenges come up, I’ll adjust our approach to better suit your needs.
  • Support When You Need It: My role is to be there for you throughout the process, whether you need extra guidance, reassurance, or support. Therapy is a journey, and I’ll be with you every step of the way.

7. Wrapping Up Therapy (When You’re Ready)

  • Reviewing Progress: Towards the end of therapy, we’ll look at how far you’ve come and what progress we’ve made. Have we reached the goals we set? Are you feeling better about your sexual well-being or relationships?
  • Ongoing Tools: Even after therapy ends, I’ll make sure you have the tools and strategies to continue feeling confident and empowered. You’ll leave with a solid foundation for maintaining progress and handling any future challenges on your own.

Throughout our work together, I’ll create a space where you can feel safe, understood, and supported. My goal is to help you better understand yourself, your emotions, and your relationships so you can feel more confident, connected, and comfortable in your sexual life. This process isn’t about judgment—it’s about growth, understanding, and improving your overall well-being.